I had a moment of stunned silence the other day. Hayden came running into my room, and was crying. I was initially worried that something was wrong, as he is not a cryer. He came up to me, and hugged me and said thank you. I was a bit blown away because I could not think immediately think what/why he was thanking me – and so I asked what was going on. Here is how the story goes –
“Mum, I was googling Google images of Hayden Moloney and I found this place called Moloney Mayhem. And I didn’t know you did that. And I read the one that came up about me and I did not know that you thought I was so brave, or that you were saying that stuff last year about my last day at school (post here) or about how I am a good big brother. I thought that it was just like normal to have a brain library, or to do some of the stuff we do as a family”. “I think it is so cool that you do it Mummy, and I am going to read it all now”.
I was gob smacked. Here is my 7 year old, googling himself (a milestone/occurrence I was not ready for) that had found my blog, read a story about himself and been thankful about it. We had a very lengthy discussion about how he feels about having his story out there and importantly pictures of himself. He has no problem but I have reiterated that if he changes his mind, I will stop. He loves this “Mayhem Thing” and is taking great delight in reading things about our family. He was so touched (for want of a better word) about my birthday post for him. He liked how he was the first one to hear my heart beat from the inside, and loved the picture of us both minutes after his birth – because, and in his words, it was more than the picture mum, it was what you felt too (I think my heart melted at that moment). All these stories he reckons, are made even cooler, because I have written them down. “Mum, we won’t forget them now”. Smart kid.
I actually started this blog to record my musings. Mainly because I know how busy I am, but also because the convenience of a computer cannot be beat half the time. I work a fair bit in front of a screen, so it is a relationship of convenience. It has been already sentimental living and re-reading through the posts with Hayden again. He has not read all of them, not by a long shot – but he has read some. He particularly likes the fact that it was much easier for him to stop using a Dummy/Nukka Nukka then the trio; and that he is the big brother. Now, I am even more compelled to keep writing. Because, this, right now, is the every day. And I know we will all forget the little things.
I think the goal posts are going to change constantly with this motherhood thing. Particularly with the highly digital/social media age we live in. Hayden does not spend hours in front of a screen, and what access he does have there is always Jason or myself around to supervise. I want to make sure that what interaction he has online is safe. And that is the uncontrollable part of the big wild world of internet. So, right now, I am having to think about all the things he could see, and work around that. Without blowing childhood innocence and curiosity. A work in progress – for many years to come I am guessing.
And here is a random photo, of Hayden, being Hayden – an awesome big brother, and forever my little monkey biscuit.